Dylan looked so sad and sweaty sitting by the pole for kids with last names starting from letters 'D to F' after his first day of school. He spotted me about 20 cars before our turn to be reunited. He smiled and waved a little scrunched hand wave. The self conscious kind that he didn't want everyone to see, but that he wanted me to notice. He just kept waving every time he could meet eyes with me. That is NOT my boy, I knew it meant he was a little lonely and sad. He actually missed us!
For the last 2 years, at his preschool (probably because he was with friends that he knew), he would not even say goodbye to me in the morning drop offs, and then he would be mad if I picked him up before 5 o'clock computer game time. How could this day that is 2-3 hours shorter be so different?!?
When he got in the car he squeezed me so tight and voluntarily kissed his brother and sister. He was so visually, relieved to be back in the nest. It made my heart smile a little bit. Then he told the story. The kick you in the gut, Mommy-guilt invoking story.
"So, Mommy today was kinda good and kinda bad. I met some friends and am on team Red. We all have teams in our desk groups. The other children are nice, and I know someone from Kiddie Academy there. But, here's the bad part.....Mom, I cried during art today."
(Dylan doesn't cry unless he is hurt or very, very tired. Dylan is a sensitive soul, but never gets scared. He is confident, loves is friends, and is almost overly fearless. This was very surprising to me.)
"I cried because it was after lunch, and I thought maybe you were not going to come back and get me. I thought that maybe I was supposed to stay at this new place forever."
My poor little boy, in this new place that is 400 feet taller than he is, with all new faces, completely helpless.....was so worried that he was abandoned. I would have never imagined that he would have let his little mind wander to that place. I told him I would be back when I dropped him off, but he doubted that as the day went on-and-on-and-on.
After this story I can say that in the end, we both cried on Dylan's first day of Kindergarten. So much for a tear free departure from the nest! Lucky for my Mommy-guilt, Dylan landed a new pair of $50 Skechers last night :) I think we both felt better after that.
1 comment:
Awww....I cried the first day of Kindergarten too Big D. Mom didn't buy me new shoes though. And Courtney, why exactly did you feel better after buying $50 shoes that will be obsolete in about 2 weeks?
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